Oh, It's A Lovely War  

1917 J.P. Long and Maurice Scott

Up to your waist in water, up to your eyes in slush
Using the kind of language that makes the sergeant blush
Who wouldn't join the army that’s what we all enquire
Don't we pity the poor civilian sitting beside the fire

Oh oh oh, it's a lovely war
Who wouldn't be a soldier, eh
Oh it's a shame to take the pay
As soon as reveille sounds, boys, we feel just as heavy as lead
But we never get up till the sergeant brings our breakfast up to bed
Oh oh ohl it's a lovely war
What do we want with eggs and ham when we've got plum and apple jam
Form fours, right turn, how shall we spend the money we earn?
Oh oh oh, it's a lovely war

When does a soldier grumble, when does he make a fuss?
No one is more contented in all the world than us
Oh it's a cushy life boys really we love it so
Once a fellow was sent on leave and simply refused to go

Come to the cookhouse door, boys, sniff at the lovely stew
Who is it says the colonel gets better grub than you?
Any complaints this morning? Do we complain? -- not we
What's the matter with lumps of onion floating around the tea