My Old Red Vest

Did you ever see a robin sitting on a tree?
My old gal would have it that is what I ought to be,
Cause I always wear a red vest, the color of my nose,
Used to be a chest protector, goodness how it glows.
I'm all there when strolling out the West.
The girls will come and tickle me and stroke me on the chest.
They make a regular fuss of me, and say you're looking don.
I always get in trouble every time I put it on.

Chorus
I never get the knocker when the boys shout cock, cockly, cock, cock robin
With my old red vest I mean to cut shine.
Walking down the street, they call me danger on the line.
And the more they call out robin red breast, I'll wear it longer still.
I will have a red waistcoat, I will,
I will, I will, I will, I will, I will.

It comes in very handy so I've heard the missus say.
She hangs it in the garden just to keep the cats away.
And when she goes to sleep at night, she hangs it on the bed.
She loves to warm her feet against its lovely glowing red.
One foggy night I saw a building all alight.
A policeman he comes rushing up to me with all his might.
Took me for a fire alarm, that's what he did require,
He bashed my face and pulled my nose and started shouting fire.

Some funny things have happened, I can tell you right.
Standing on the corner on the street the other night,
I was waiting for a bus, I intended going south,
A fellow came along and stuck a letter in my mouth.
Well "I'm no letterbox," I said, "Remember that."
Just as he was grinning at me like a Cheshire cat.
A postman he comes on the scene and fairly up the pole,
He drops his bag and shoves his key right in my buttonhole.