When the Gorgonzola Cheese Went Wrong

My wife lately bought sorme gorgonzola cheese, 
She bought it in a shop marked cheap.
She thought that her loving husband it would please, 
If only till my birthday it would keep.
She placed that cheese safely in a drawer, 
A month went by or perhaps a little more,
Some friends came for my birthday and the party went off great,
Until the missus placed the gorgonzola on a plate.

Chorus:
Oh that gorgonzola cheese, it must've been unhealthy I suppose,
For the old tomcat fell a corpse upon the mat when a whiff ran up its nose.
Talk about the flavor of the crackling on the pork, nothing could have been so strong
As the beautiful effluvia that filled our house, when the gorgonzola cheese went wrong.

My wife got a bit offended just because 
The company exclaimed "Great Scott!"
And inquired for to know what animal it was, 
And wondered at the license I had got.
The fire went dead clean out 
My old mate soon came back with a gun
Said "Stand back I'm going to fire, the cheese I mean to kill."
But when he'd blown it all to bits it got more lively still

When those bits had done a walk about the place 
And touch they soon began to play,
But when two pieces down the passage ran a race 
I thought I got the hygro-phob-i-a (that's rabies).
We burned pastilles but, lor, they did no good. 
Destroy that cheese I thought I never could.
But when someone lit up a good old penny smoke,
The gorgonzola cried, "Oh no!  It's time for me to croak!"