HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT - Essay Assignment: "Autobiography & History" - Student Response

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Consequences of a War
By Suzan Luu

The Vietnam War drastically changed the future of my family. When Saigon fell to the communists, my parents and relatives living in Vietnam and Cambodia lost everything. The world built by my grandfather, their business, their home, their livelihood in Vietnam over thirty years was wiped out within weeks. My family had to leave their homes and lives in Vietnam behind on rickety boats to escape, just to enter into uncertainty in an unfamiliar place. However, they did not lose their value of family and togetherness; their capacity for hard work and resilience allowed them to continue and establish new lives. This is the story of the displacement of my parents and family members from their comfortable lives into a new life of uncertainty and hardship as refugees.

My paternal grandfather (1913-1972) who passed away several years before Saigon fell was a resourceful man who really embodied the cliché of “rags to riches.” He grew up in the Chiu-Chow province of China in a large family. They lived in poor conditions in China, and at a young age, he journeyed to Cambodia to earn a living and support his siblings and new wife. He came with few dollars in his possession and found work at low wages. At night, he rented shelter where he slept on rice bags. He remitted a large portion of his earnings back to China. As he earned more, he was able to save more and upgrade his amenities to rent a cot to sleep on.
Later, grandfather traveled to Saigon, Vietnam, a bustling place to make his fortune. He soon established an import and export businesses. After twenty years, after the births of all my uncles, the business expanded and earned the family tremendous wealth. Grandfather had made his fortune and provided an extremely large home for his family, particularly by Vietnam standards at the time, owned various properties in the country and had a house full of servants to tend to his children.

Meanwhile, the plot thickens. My grandfather was able to bring his wife, “first grandmother,” (1915-1947) over to Vietnam after saving enough in Vietnam. They had three children, my eldest uncle, second uncle and eldest aunt. During her fourth childbirth, first grandmother died of complications. My great-grandmother, first-grandmother’s mother, worried about grandfather taking another wife who may neglect the children. Great grandmother urged first-grandmother’s younger sister, my grandmother (1929- ), to marry grandfather. She was only 18 years old at the time. She decided (with pressure) to marry grandfather because she cared for the children. My great grandmother accompanied her over to Vietnam, leaving her husband in China, whom she planed to return to. However, great grandmother was never able to return to China, because this was the period when the communists took over China. My grandmother and grandfather had nine children together and remained married until his death in 1972. They raised the children from both families together as one.

My father is the first child born between my grandfather and grandmother. Being the “eldest” son, he had responsibilities deemed by Chinese traditions. My father had much autonomy and privileged growing up in a wealthy family. He had all the spending money he need, a fancy car to drive, many friends that followed him and admired him. He was able to travel all over Asia. My father went to Taiwan for college. He had one more year to complete of college when my grandfather passed away, and had to return to Vietnam take care of the business. I wonder if his life and our lives would be different if he were able to complete his college degree.
Several years after my father returned to Vietnam, my parents married. They were to live comfortably in the large house with my father’s siblings and grandmother. This house was five stories high and filled with servants to complete their every task. My second uncle purchased the property adjacent to this house and constructed a four story house with his wife. The house was designed in modern fashion with custom furniture and fixtures. The house was extremely elaborate for Vietnam during the 1970s.

1975, Saigon falls. My family has many meetings about their future in Vietnam. They had loads of cash in the house, and they did not know what to do with it. If the communists find it, they will be punished for being a capitalist enemy. They burn cartfuls of cash. The family decides that they need to leave the country. They have no future to remain in Vietnam. They liquefy their holdings and try to buy as much gold and US Dollars as they can. They purchase boat tickets. They flee.

I heard that my father had to drag my second uncle out of Vietnam. I don’t think he could bear to leave the house be just constructed and leave behind what was. I think he has had the hardest time adjusting to the conditions in the U.S. He carries himself like he has a lot of financial freedom and purchases a lot of material possessions, but I believe he is in debt. He is just used to having the freedom to spend without restraint. Being one of the oldest, he has practically has always lived a life of luxury and privilege. It is difficult to change this mentality with immigration.

As a family, they decided that they would try to immigrate together to Australia. However, this was not under their control. My parents, youngest aunts, grandmother were on the same boat, which ended up in Hong Kong. The boat my second uncle, his wife and young children were on ended up in Malaysia. My eldest uncle and his family ended up in Thailand.

My parents’ boat sat in the water for days before Hong Kong allowed them to enter the country. My aunt says they had to wait for the United Nations to decide which countries would accept refugees. They lived in a refugee camp in Hong Kong for about two years. My second uncle was the first to immigrate to the United States. Missionaries in the U.S. helped my uncle to find work and find housing for his family. The family in Hong Kong waited for my uncle to help sponsor them to come over. The 1965 Immigration Act enabled my family to immigrant to the United States under the provision of refugees. During that time, there were federal programs to help refugees with English programs and job training programs. These programs helped my father to learn English and find work as a technician. My mother gave birth to me 11 days after their arrival to the U.S.; my brother came 2 years later. We lived in a two bedroom apartment in Santa Ana, CA. My grandmother, 5 aunts and uncle all lived in an apartment one unit from our apartment.
I recently asked my parents, “If there hadn’t been a war, would you have immigrated to the U.S.?” Their answer was a clear, “No.” It surprised me at first, but after thinking about it, why would they have left their lives in Vietnam if there wasn’t a war that had displaced them? They had everything they needed in Vietnam. In the U.S., just like every newly arrived immigrant and refugee, they had to build from nothing. The possessions they had was only what they brought with them on the boat. I can’t imagine those circumstances happening to me. I don’t know how I would be able to deal with leaving my home, choosing and taking with me few possessions in a small bag, and boarding a boat t enter into uncertain prospects. This is called courage.

Learning this history helps me to better understand my parents. It helps to explain actions and behaviors of my parents which may anger or upset me. Growing up, I heard my parents arguing about finances. This topic is very common among immigrants, but it was probably different because my dad would spend money that we didn’t have. I think this is characteristic of his upbringing in a wealthy family. My father has always told me not to worry about money; sometimes I think I understand the reality of our financial circumstances better than he does.

Soon after my brother was born, my father had a breakdown. I did not know about this incident until very recently. He could not fathom that our family had lost everything in such a brief moment. One day they had a big house and money, the next they are in a shoddy apartment with few possessions with an indeterminate future. These realizations help me to understand why my father sometimes behaves as he does, and why my mother is somewhat of a martyr, that can’t seem to relax but constantly works. Their constant need to work to survive as my brother and I were growing up has inevitably caused us to grow up without them; this has lasting consequences in that my mother and I aren’t as close as we could be. I am used to taking care of things on my own, being independent. Now that my mother has more time because she works less, she wants to spend time with me. However, I consciously and unconsciously push her away; I think that I resent the fact that they were never around. These are the terrible yet magnificent lessons I have learned through this history.

I feel that within the community of Asian American refugee-immigrants, there is silence within families. The past is one of sadness and trauma; memories very difficult to reflect upon much less communicate to their children. Only since I have become older and studied Asian American studies that I have come to encourage my parents to speak about their past. However, I feel that I know much more about this generation than my older cousins; so what does this mean for my younger cousins, who are more and more self-absorbed and spoiled being raised in American ways, to sit down and think about their parents? Silence broadens the gap between generations. Many children do not know about their parent’s history; many children do not think that their parents existed before they were born. Learning a person’s history unlocks their past, explains their present, and gives hope to their future.