Asian American Studies 197B
Spring Quarter 2002

Reflection Journal 2
Ye Jin, "My Responsibilities as a UCLA Student"

Lu Xun’s short poem has a significant impact on students, such as me, for taking a class on Asian Pacific American Labor Studies today. Because many Asian American students often confuse their missions and goals in schools as to remain isolated in our UCLA community and continue to stay oblivious to the problems and injustices occurring in our near community. Asian American students at UCLA usually feel assimilated into the dominant white culture, yet at the same time forgetting the very struggles that early Asian Americans have went through in this country to allow us where we are today. Lu Xun’s poem has warned us the dangers of not clearly distinguishing those who we should be defying to and those that we should be humbly bowing to.

As an Asian American myself and a UCLA student, this poem also has major significance for my life. Before taking this class, I have never contemplated the meaning of being both an Asian and an American at the same time. After reading this short poem and attending first two lectures, I realized I have gradually segregated myself from those who are sharing the same ethnic background as I do the more time I spent in this school and in this country. I tend not to pay much attention to Chinese community and Chinese media as I used to. Although I understand there are still many unsolved struggles and obstacles regarding workers’ issues and immigrants’ rights within our own community, I remain a passive member and fail to appreciate the active voices of those who fight for Asian American rights in domains such as immigrant rights, politics, or television media. Perhaps, I am beginning to sink into a pool of confusion and mistakes by humbly bowing to authorities with privileges who oppress Asian American immigrants while rebelliously defying those who share a similar life path as I do. Is it because I have enclosed myself away from the community and remain isolated in the academic community where I am only surrounded by friends and students who are unaware of the immigrants’ workers’ injustices majority of time? Or, am I immersed too deeply into the psychology courses without realizing there is much more learning than cramming for exams?

Lu Xun’s poem has awakened me and I recognize there is much more meaning to Asian American than I have come to understand, in addition, it entails a lot of responsibilities as a group member to contribute, to educate, to give, to help, and to advance together with all Asian Americans in this country. I still remember my grandmother going to work at a garment store in El Monte when we first immigrated to this country. Her job was to cut off the extra threads hanging off from the new clothing articles. My mom and I used to help her when she brought huge bundles of shirts home on weekends. Although she never complained about her work, I could see the tiredness and dissatisfaction she experienced at the factory on her face. The most appalling thing I recall from that time was my grandma got paid ten cents per each shirt. She tried to work as fast as she could (pay based upon pieces), she only received less than $20 a day. Being only a junior high student back then, I felt a sense of hopeless and I couldn’t do anything to help her or my family as a whole. When I entered UCLA, I discovered that my privileged student status has given me many opportunities to help my family to not only succeed in this country but also to obtain our rights as Asian Americans. We persuaded my grandmother to quit her job long ago. I also helped mother to receive legal service when she was rear-ended by another white driver. When my mother quit her old job, I also persuaded her to get back the rest of her salary whom her boss was holding because the company was on the verge of bankruptcy. Most importantly, as a UCLA student, my privileged status increases my self-esteem and allows me to confront those oppressors who are oblivious to immigrant workers’ struggles and further subjugate our rights as citizens living in this country. I spoke against those who speak harshly about our ethnic group because they hold very rigid and up-tight stereotypes about Asian Americans. I stood up to those who give unfair criticisms, especially the employers, while I was working in a café restaurant because I was young and Asian. At the same time, I humbly served my community by tutoring Asian American students, giving college advice to other Chinese students, and help my mother and grandmother for their social events.

However, as a student with privileges, I sometimes have had difficulty distinguishing whom "to bow to" and whom "to serve." There is always the notion that class difference segregates those with money and those who recently immigrated without wealth within Asian American community, especially in Chinese American population. Rather, they compete for the same community resources while undermining social, political, and economic advancement as a whole for all the Asian Americans in U.S. As a UCLA student, I feel sorry yet can not do anything as an individual to prevent this battle from happening.

Also, due to physical isolation from Asian communities as well as rare discussion about Asian Americans and low-income immigrant workers on UCLA campus, I feel I now become more of an American rather than an Asian. It may seem tempting to bow to the professors or even close friends when they misunderstand Asian Americans as a whole group. I feel frustrated when my friends think all Taiwanese kids are rich while all people from China are poor. As a result, it makes alright for Chinese to work in low-waged and poor regulated environment because their lives here are much better here than in China, an impoverished country.

I say to myself, "that’s so not true", but I remained passive in their conservation without ever correcting them by presenting my side of truth. I sometimes stay unresponsive to Chinese jokes told by my friends. I felt I didn’t have a choice but to stay quiet. On occasions, I may even feel embarrassed by standing next to an immigrant worker, because I have the misconception that he or she is dirty, low-class, and uneducated compared to UCLA students. In a way, I have wrongfully defy the "children" and serve the "oppressors." Lu Xun’s poem has allowed me the opportunity to reexamine my life and I can start to appreciate the fights every Asian American worker has ever endured before us. Without these people, life would be different today and I would not be in UCLA now. Therefore, I should clarify my mission as a student in UCLA and one who also enrolled in an Asian American Studies course to defy those who oppress Asian Americans while serving those within our community.

Finally, through attending this class and my internship (Market Workers Justice Campaign), I can strengthen my ideological understanding of the roles and responsibilities of students in elite universities today by reaching out to people within our community. At the same time, step out of the safe zone of UCLA and actively engage in conservations with immigrant workers to obtain more knowledge from them. In addition, I will research on websites (also including the class website) to obtain more information about Asian Pacific American Labor issues and to see whether there are anything a UCLA student can do to contribute to the community. Also, talk to class veterans to find out more about their internship experience last quarter. Moreover, stay attuned to any information regarding Asian Americans either on television or newspaper. I could also join the actions/protests during my internship opportunity and on-campus student organizations. Most importantly, I will take what I learned from school and outside resources and bring back to the community to share with them. Because I am fortunate enough to have gone to an elite university, I need to appreciate all the struggles that had preceded me to make my dream come true today. As a responsible UCLA Asian American student in the new era, I should acknowledge the pains and gains that early generations have endured and obtained for us. With each step forward from today, I will remember Lu Xun’s poem by "coolly defy" the oppressors who hinder the advancement of Asian Americans, especially immigrant workers, but "humbly bowing" to those who share the same path, experience, and struggle as every Asian American has gone through in this country.