Asian American Studies 197B
Spring Quarter 2002

Reflection Journal 2
Julie Yoshioka, "Reconstructing My Beliefs and Responsibilities"

I think the Lu Xun’s poem is extremely appropriate to the mission of this class. When tackling social issues that require grassroots initiative and commitment, you often face a lot of adversity along the way. This poem really made me think about my involvement in these organizations and the responses I've received from my own family. I know that my father is highly representative of the "thousand pointing fingers" which tell me to stop committing myself to a life not seen as "successful" in his eyes. My goal of working with children doesn't suit the lawyer-bound future he planned for me as a child. I've also encountered a lot of negative responses when I've told certain friends that I want to be a teacher; they imply that I've wasted my UCLA education and could have achieved the same elsewhere. But I know deep down that I want to serve my community.

I know I haven't fully used my privileged status to confront oppressors in the community. It is difficult for me to stand up to my own father at times. He doesn't always understand the motivation behind my actions and only looks at the dollar figures involved in my future. With the first step at home being difficult, it makes it even harder to branch out into the community and confront the like. There are definitely many more causes I could involve myself in, but I don't. That’s the result of either apathy or laziness on my part and I understand that. But I think another important component of that is the passion that involves these other issues. It is difficult to impassion one's self over an issue that is very removed from one's self. I tend to involve myself in projects that have personal relevance to me. That is a very selfish thing to say, but it explains a lot of motivation behind my actions.

I realize that as UCLA students we definitely wield some sort of invisible influence over others, and I think it’s a fine line of where and how one uses this power. I think I have somewhat used my privileged status to confront oppressors why serving my community. I've noticed that a lot of children give you more respect when you can relate to them and then they find out that you are a UCLA student. In a way, they look to you as a role model. I think it is important to then use this form of power and give it back to them in whatever relevant form. It is oftentimes difficult to fully distinguish who "to bow to" and whom "to serve." Oftentimes, you can get really caught up in the issue and eventually lose sight of the goal. I think it then is important that one always questions their actions in the context of the group as a whole.

I think that this class will be an excellent starting point for me to reconstruct my beliefs on the responsibilities of students in universities. By actually working more in-depth with the community, the cause and effect of my actions will be much more obvious and I will be able to experience a much more tangible effect. I'm really excited to be working with an Asian sector of the labor workforce, as it is a much more personal environment. I think just being accepting and flexible for change will be important qualities to keep in mind.