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By Pa Xiong Race Relations in L.A.: The Blind Leading the Naked A few weeks ago, as I cleaned out my apartment and packed into cardboard boxes all of my 21 years of life's belongings, preparing myself to move into my new home two blocks away, I ran across an old shoe box that held all of my life's tangible achievements thus far. There were certificates, awards, newspaper clippings, pamphlets of published poetry, my high school valedictorian medal that I once wore so proudly, and other little things that I don't show too many people. Underneath all of this junk, I found my high school graduation program. I found myself reading my privileged valedictorian statement that was printed inside the program. I found myself laughing, laughing at my stupidity and my over usage of big words that I had found in the thesaurus the night before. None of it made sense to me. I was only barely beginning to understand little bits and pieces of what I had written over three years ago. What I had written was something that I should have written fifty years from now. I'm not going to tell you what I wrote. But I will share a concept that I did use, one that only now, am I beginning to understand. Mosaic. I chose to describe myself as a mosaic, different because my own collection of stolen ideas, beliefs, falling stars, love stories, favorite foods, languages, and words were unlike any other. I was a great thief who never got caught, and I loved myself. America, too, is a mosaic of its own, is it not? America does, after all, epitomize that most amazing and most beautifully colored mosaic. We have people of all color, foods from all over the world, languages so diverse, cultures so amazingly different, and all of this is so astoundingly beautiful. We undoubtedly have this mosaic in the palm of our hands. Yet, we have chosen to take our own little pieces out of the whole, some taking chunks and others given only a few grains of sand. Protect only our own, we say. Love only our own. Until we all realize that everything America is, is stolen, how can we ever begin to share this country and give it back to everyone? We have white people claiming this land as their own, white cultures telling us theirs is the best, colored people fighting amongst each other, and disputes breaking out where they shouldn't. America is so great because we once stole slaves and railroad workers and mail order brides and orange pickers. America is so great because we are thieves. We stole, and now, we have this great big colored mosaic that society doesn't want to deal with. We claim it, but we hate it. Leave the poor poor and let the rich get richer. Break the backs of the colored and lead only the invisible to salvation. I'm angry and ashamed at myself, that at the sheltered age of 17, I was so arrogantly naive as to make such bold statements about life. Only now, can I even begin to understand it. I put the shoe box away. Three years from now, I will open it again, and I know that my own personal mosaic would have taken on a completely different shape and form. But I know, at least I know, that through all the changes, the mishaps, the unwanted experiences, the losses and the gains, I will still love myself. I will still love my mosaic. (Pa Xiong is a junior majoring in Asian American Studies.)