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Roderick Sasis The Struggle To Be White Recently, I attended a family party in celebration of my cousin's birthday. I lounged around and took advantage of the home-cooked dishes that I desperately craved during the long school year. The aroma of freshly fried lumpia and the roasted lechon wafted though the air as someone sang a rendition of Elvis' "Jailhouse Rock" on karaoke. The adults played mahjong while the kids chased one another with water guns. Everything seemed typical until my cousin walked into the room with her new boyfriend. Parts of his long blond locks dangled just below his blue eyes which he swept off with a stroke of his hand. The man lacked size yet looked huge in stature when compared to his petite Filipina girlfriend. The adult party-goers attempted subtle glances to satisfy their curiosity. "I'm glad that my daughter found a puti. I hope that they get married because I know that he would we able to provide for them," said my aunt. "Yeah and think about how beautiful the children would be. Your grandchildren would grow up big and strong and maybe even have blond hair and blue eyes," said my mom. I felt angry whenever I heard such comments from fellow Filipinos, let alone my own flesh and blood. What was so good about being puti, about being white? Why do Filipinos naturally assume that white guys would be better bread whiners than other Filipino men? Why do Filipinos have a fixation on fair skin, blue eyes, and blond hair? Why are Filipino men assumed to be small and weak, while Caucasians are deemed big and strong? Sadly, centuries of imperialist acts by Spain and the United States created a colonial mentality amongst Filipinos that still pervade their psyches today. Since the arrival of the Spaniards on the Philippine Islands, the native Filipinos adhered to white man's authority. They were stripped of their native religions and names and converted to Catholicism and branded with Spanish surnames. Jesuit and Catholic priests abused and pillaged barangays, native villages and communities. The Philippines successfully gained independence from Spain after three hundred years, only to be colonized by the United States. American influence could be readily seen through the establishment of the American education system, the democratic governmental structure in the Philippines, as well as the integration of the English language into society. American clothes, music, magazines, televisions, and movies bombarded the Filipino public and depicted the U.S. as the land of opportunity. Western products such as Converse shoes and Marlboro cigarettes were highly regarded because they came from the "States." Experiences with American culture played a significant role in Filipinos' eagerness to immigrate to the U.S. and also their willingness to assimilate into the host society. These encounters with American culture entrenched the colonial mentality even deeper within Filipinos. Many of those lucky enough to immigrate to the U.S. carried the mentality that anything American was good. I believe that Filipino immigrants' willingness and eagerness to become "American" and assimilate into society caused a lack of identity within their children. To be a part of the majority and to be as puti or white as possible, many Filipino immigrant parents stressed the English language and neglected to teach their children their native languages. Other than food, many second-generation Filipinos are ignorant about Filipino folklore, dance, clothing, song, and history. In order to be successful in America, Filipino parents sacrificed sharing their culture with their children. Until society becomes colorblind, Filipinos are left in a problematic scenario: not fully American, not fully Filipino. Being a first-generation Filipino American born in the Philippines, but raised in the U.S., I feel cheated of my heritage, culture, and history. Yet I am thankful for the traditional values and beliefs that my parents instilled. Only in college am I piecing together parts of my people's past. I am angry that other Filipinos put Caucasians onto pedestals as if they were not our peers. The fascination with white skin has got to stop within the Filipino adult population or Filipinos will continue to suffer from somewhat of an inferiority complex. What was so good about being puti, about being white? I don't know because I feel brown skin, brown eyes, and black hair is equally as beautiful as fair skin, blue eyes, and blond hair. Filipinos could also be strong. It's just a matter of being proud of who you are and your heritage. The struggle to be white ends with me. (Roderick Sasis is a Sophomore.)