Community Education: Student Empowerment

Assignment 1: History and Autobiography

Essay Assignment (Autobiography & History): According to sociologist C. Wright Mills, we can always discover an intersection between autobiography and history. Each person’s life unfolds within a particular historical period, and an individual can understand their own experience by locating their life within history. Each person’s life is shaped by historic events such as war, immigration, racism, oppression of women, economic recession, civil unrest, etc. As C. Wright Mills states, this discovery "in many ways is a terrible lesson; in many ways a magnificent one." For this Essay Assignment, each student will write a three-to-five page autobiography linking their life to history. Students should provide some background information about themselves (where they were born, where they live, what are the important things in their life, what are their life aspirations, etc.). However, they should focus their essays on three main questions: 1) How does their life intersect with history? (Have certain historical events, such as war, immigration, etc. shaped their lives or influenced their life plans?) 2) Why is the discovery of the intersection of autobiography and history "in many ways a terrible lesson; in many ways a magnificent one"? 3) Once a person has discovered this intersection, what meaning does this discovery have for that person’s life? This assignment is due by Friday, Oct. 5.

Intersection to the Path of Life: A Historically Related Autobiography

By Meredith Lee

"It’s okay, don’t worry! I don’t consider you one of them, you’re just like us!"

I can still recall those words like it was yesterday. Even though the words may have seemed harmless to most 9th graders, I was very offended by them. Other comments that stick in my head include my best friend’s sister asking me if my mom wore "one of those hats" when she picked rice. More recently, a Chinese man I was dating broke up with me because "I was too white." That seemed funny to me considering his name is Fernando.

I am a 5th generation Chinese American, born and raised in Palo Alto, California. In the heart of Silicon Valley, one may expect to find a vastly diverse population. This is true for the most part, except for where I grew up. Growing up in Palo Alto is a privilege, yet also a barrier. Living in a bubble, it is inevitable that you will be naïve to the world and receive a great surprise when reality hits. I have always been different from those who grew up with me, not only by race, but also by mentality, and social economic status. My parents lost the house I grew up in due to bankruptcy, and this changed my whole prospective on life. No longer did I share the commonality of having a huge house, nice cars, lots of money, and no worries. Instead of boy problems I had to worry about where I was going to live, how my family was going to eat, and if my family would even stay together through these hard times. My outlook on life has completely changed because of this, as well as my goals for the future. What is supposed to be a wonderful time in one’s life was an absolute disaster for me. "Clinical Depression" had me going to a $90 an hour therapist and taking prescription drugs like Paxil and Prozac. When I look back, all I needed was a good friend who would listen. My choice of friends was not the best, which in turn led me into a lot of trouble. In the process of the chaos of a fairly abnormal teenage-hood, one tends to make a lot of mistakes, and I have definitely made my share. What kept me going was realizing that I will learn from those experiences and grow from them – not regret them.

From my experiences I learned very fast that being Chinese American is a big factor in my life. It affects who I am, what I do, where I go in life, and why things happen to me at times. One thing that helped me immensely in my process to find myself was a class I took at De Anza Community College while I was in high school. It was my first glance into Asian Pacific American history, and the first time I could relate to something in school. Although to my other classmates I was an annoying, obsequious little high schooler, I got a lot out of that class. "The History of Asians in America" opened all sorts of doors for me in that it gave me an interest in a time where depression confined me from doing that before and it gave me a sense of belonging in a community where I was not sure where I fit in. 5th generation means my family has been here for a long time, I do not speak Chinese and neither do my parents, my grandparents speak fluent and perfect English, I do not eat with chopsticks – and I also don’t eat rice at every meal at home, and I am not Chinese to Chinese and I am not American to America. Yet it also means that I have a rich history that roots deep into America’s past. This class got my gears grinding away, and I started to research on my own, ask questions to my family, and finally put the puzzle pieces together.

Through more Asian American Studies classes, a choice to major in the field at UCLA, and the opportunity to do some digging into my family’s past, I have become the person I am today, who is comfortable and proud, understanding and aware, and active in the world I live in. Learning about the historical experiences of Asian Pacific Americans, especially the Chinese, has made me understand my life for what it is. Through my research I found many of my family members’ Angel Island papers, and I understand that the Chinese Exclusion Act affected my family for generations. I know that many of them came as paper sons and daughters, and understand why they were and still are some what hesitant to talk about their past. I see why it is important that I was raised in Palo Alto, when four other generations have been raised in San Francisco Chinatown – not because they wanted to sometimes, but because they had to by law and public opinion. I value the history of Chinatown because my family helped make it. We were grocery store owners, telephone operators, restaurant owners, and our pictures are in the Smithsonian, textbooks, and in our hearts.

It is terrible to learn that there were many horrible things that happened to my family that allows me to be here today, yet is also astonishing. I pride in the fact that my grandfather Lee was able to "sneak" into America, had to cover his identity, was able establish a life, and sent his two sons, his wife, and two grandsons to universities with his salary of a cook. Although he died before I got to know him, I was told that many people were "ashamed" by him or "looked down on him." Even the minister at his funeral described him as "a simple man who didn’t do much in life." To me that is the farthest from the truth. His accomplishments during his life are not even comparable to today someone making a million dollars. He lost his identity, his life, and his family in China to come here. It is terrible but also magnificent.

History is magnificent also in that it has given me a purpose for life. "You must be the change you wish to see in the world," Gandhi once said. I will take what I have learned about my past, and use it to make a future for myself, and my children. I have chosen the course of my life thus far because of the intersection I have come to find with my history. This history is not the story of Christopher Columbus sailing to America, but the story of Lee Hing Pang, real name Lee Gee Ngoung. I want to be able to share my grandfather’s story, and all the history I have learned with others. I am privileged to be where I am today with the knowledge and resources I have, and I want to make sure future generations will have the same. The discovery of history in one’s life is a big responsibility. Some choose not to take it and ignore it. Some, like me, choose to embrace it and share it. After all, if we do not learn from our past, history is doomed to repeat itself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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